two sets of 19 laws (38 total!)

PETER'S LAWS


OTHER MISC. LAWS

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to use the bathroom.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, or screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last, and they are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, drink, or the bathroom and who leave
early before the end of the performance or the game is over. Those in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance and beyond. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the
carpet/rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well and make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

out of africa

I arrived home on Sunday after leaving NNY on the 3rd. At YOW there was a security guard training a black lab to sniff luggage. The dog couldn't have been much more than 6 mo. old. He was doing well and very enthusiastic for about ten minutes. Then I noticed the lab grabbing the leash, jumping, and wanting to play tug of war. I figured if a professional trainer had these problems with his dog then I shouldn't feel too bad about my big guy.

Speaking of which, our six-month-old Koufax looked obviously bigger than when I left. Monday we walked him down to the local feed store to have him weighed on a grain scale. He came in at 80 pounds. That is roughly a weight gain of a pound every two days. Looking at his feet, he obviously still has a ways to go.

The rest of Monday I spent going through local newspapers, Wall Street Journals, and magazines which had accumulated in my absence. Tuesday was devoted to going though a little less than 400 emails, plus blogs, plus Facebook. That was an entire workday, after which my brain was fried and useless for anything other than watching the entire first season of Spaced. Today is doing odds and ends in my office.

In my reading of blogs I discovered that at least one person does not completely share my enthusiasm for hanging out with Koufax. Strange. Very strange.

Koufax spends mornings with me in my office, napping at my feet. Yes, I can get work done as long as I do not get up from my chair. However, I must first invest time in tossing a well-chewed tennis ball (sans cover) down the hall for him until he is thoroughly worn out.

I also need to limit my morning intake of coffee and juices. If I get up, he gets up. While I may be relieved, he is refreshed and ready to play.

Isn't this sort of like having kids, only more trouble?

Be blessed!
RB

miscellany

Monday. Koufax was 6-months old and weighed 70 pounds. RB took him over to the best baseball field in NNY (i.e., at SLU) and let him sit on the pitchers mound. However, he preferred the dugout since it was out of the sun. Bench warmer? No, bench cooler.

Tuesday. Offspring #3 was dog sitting and brought her charge over to see Koufax. The poor little thing was smaller than Koufax's head and her paw was about the size of one of his back molars. The big guy was ready to play but she didn't really want to.

Wednesday. RB officially became Chairman of the Department of Economics at SLU. It is a one-year sentence with no possibility of parole.

Thursday. RB bought stuff in a store! He does this only if a local store is going out of business and having big discounts. After all, he is a fiscal conservative.

Friday. Offspring #4 and his father became members of the St. Lawrence County Conservative Party Committee in the morning while in the afternoon RB should be heading to Ottawa to start off a trip to Kenya with other SLU African Studies faculty for a two-week visit. Work! Work! Work!

conservatives in the 23rd

The Conservative Party is a minor party in NYS and does not attract too much media attention. After all, its enrollment is quite small. In NYS elections politicians want as many lines on the ballot as possible. So what is special about the Conservative Party? Smart politicians especially desire its endorsement because they know the party's importance outsizes its enrollment and is more than just having another ballot line.

The Conservative Party line usually draws 10% of the votes in a North Country election. In a close race, the Conservative line can make the difference in who wins.

If you haven't heard, the North Country's Congressman John McHugh (R-C) has been nominated by Obama for Secretary of the Army. This is good news for Ft. Drum. Bad news for the Republicans. Why? I'll get to that later.

I went to a county Conservative Party meeting Tuesday night. There were four candidates interested in a possible run for (i.e., lusting after and desperately wanting) the 23rd Congressional District seat. If there is a special election, it will be a BIG deal with national attention and national money.

The meeting was very depressing.

Republications in Albany will choose who runs on their line. The leading Republican candidate is a flaming liberal. Tuesday she spoke passionately for same sex marriages and is extremely pro-choice. Nothing she said was remotely either socially or fiscally conservative; at least nothing that any North Country liberal Democrat holding office would have said. (She only has R-C after her name because that's what you have to do to win in her district.)

The two candidates who actually were conservative Republicans were not Republican insiders so they have absolutely no chance.

A moderate, pro-choice Republican assemblyman, a real insider, was there and he looked interesting. However, he just lost a special election for the NYS Senate in a heavily Republican district so he is very unlikely to be picked.

Obama won the 23rd with 52% of the vote despite Republicans having a large enrollment advantage over the Democrats. State Senator Aubertine (D) also won his North Country district despite the enrollment disadvantage. The 23rd is in play.

After the next census, New York will lose a congressional district in 2012. The district lost will be the 23rd unless two things both happen. (Even then, it is still iffy.) First, the 23rd is held by a Republican and second, the NY State Senate reverts to Republican control. After the last census, New York also lost a congressional district. McHugh faced easy re-election and used his campaign funds to help friends in Albany. The 23rd was kept.

That is why making McHugh Secretary of the Army will be a bad thing for Republicans and Conservatives.

for alex of the 3-61st cav

An award-winning newspaper series about the death of Alex Funcheon and its aftermath can be downloaded by clicking HERE.


Our Offspring #2 was a platoon leader in Iraq, who served in the same cavalry scout troop, and was good friends with LT Bland, Funcheon's platoon leader. Our daughter-in-law and LT Bland's wife were also close. At the time of the tragedy, I heard about the impact on the wives of the men from Fort Carson.

Be blessed,
RB

give me 20 minutes and the world will look different

I'm a student and teacher of development economics. The problem with that subject, as with so many others, is not ignorance but knowing so much that isn't so.

Rather than relying on what someone told us, a fact-based view of the world may be helpful. But only if you're into reality....

Please take 20 minutes, watch the video below, and your view of the world will change. (If you only have less than five minutes, the second video is good but not as informative, and certainly not as much fun as the first.)



You can play with the graphs yourself at Gapminder World.

Short attention span? A more recent and shorter version, but not as much fun:



Be blessed!
RB

s.c. gov went to the wrong side of the andes

South Carolina's Governor Sanford showed up after disappearing for the better part of a week. He said he went to Argentina - a spur of the moment thing. Why? "Sanford has been a fan of Argentina for years. While in Congress and since he's said that nation's Social Security system has a model the U.S. should follow" (source).

Argentina did have a privatized social security system where employees could choose to put a mandatory percentage of income into either the state system or private funds. 83% went with the private funds.

But sorry Gov. There's a problem. Last November Argentine President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner nationalized the private pension funds. The money is under government control. These funds now buy a lot of Argentine government bonds that were having a bit of trouble finding buyers. Given Argentina's fiscal difficulties, it must be nice to be president with access to other peoples money to "invest" in activities the government otherwise couldn't afford and that the private sector would view as unproductive.

I do not think the Republican governor really wants the USA to follow Mrs. Kirchner's example. He was probably just confusing Argentina with its neighbor on the other side of the Andes Mountains. Chile has a well-functioning, well-performing privatized social security system. In fact their system predates Argentina's and the politicians have kept their hands off the money.

BTW, President Kirchner announced earlier this month that the nationalized social security funds would invest in GM. I bet President Obama wishes we had a nationalized social security system too!

Wait a minute. We already do have a nationalized social security system. It does nothing but buy up US government bonds and support the deficit.

Never mind.

UPDATE: Double never-mind. Turns out the gov went to Argentina because he fell for a beautiful women. Now that is much more reasonable -- relatively speaking that is.

as close as they'll get

Penguins share with those less fortunate than themselves -- the Pirates. The Stanley Cup is as close to a championship as this baseball team will ever get.

bob & ray: stoa

Here is a classic Bob and Ray radio skit:

Click here for article and then click Listen: Slow Talkers of America.

Someone I know is a big fan of the comedy duo Bob and Ray. I find it funny that this is his favorite skit since he tends to actually talk like the president of STOA!

Be blessed!
RB

new computer app: cleans monitor screen

Cleans your computer screen from the inside: Click here!