my satanic worship

This morning as worship was just beginning, during the first moments of the very first song, I sensed, “What else have you been worshiping besides Me?” Whoa, what does this mean? I had been down this week, discouraged by my sins and their consequences not only for me, but also for those I love. I despaired of my lack of effectiveness, my lack of ability, my lack of talent, and my overall pathetic lack of progress in the so-called sanctification process. Oh yeah, the absence of any significant positive fruit in my life also bummed me out.

Have you ever felt like this? Have you ever over indulged in regret and despaired of sin?

Please stay with me here. This may not be easy to get across, so you really will have to pay attention.

I realized that I had been worshiping my sin, my failures, and my abundant lackings. In my despair, I had been bowing down before the works of sin. I had been worshiping what Satan had placed before me. They were very real things, but my despair over these things was really the equivalent of falling on my knees and bowing down to them.

In fact, I had been partaking in a form of satanic worship.

The Lord is a jealous God and does not want me worshiping anything or anyone else. He does not want me to worship Him on Sunday when I spent Friday and Saturday, and may well spend Monday, reciting my satanic verses of praise for the works of another. The Lord does not want to share my worship. He will not settle for some of it.

It is only by His grace that I can come boldly before His throne. Yet I was denying His grace, the grace in which I live, by exalting, and thereby worshipping, sin and a dead man. Grace has covered my sin; grace has made me dead to sin. That I am a child of God in right standing before God is a fact, a completed work, and a permanent condition: a result only, and completely, due to grace.

What I thought was regret, my despair transformed into idolatry. What I thought was contrition, became in despair my satanic worship.

It makes no sense to worship the God of grace while exalting what grace has already destroyed.

If you ever have trouble worshipping the great I AM, just sing a few lines of Amazing Grace. Worship gets very easy after that.

Be blessed!
RB

waiting

I Will Wait is a wonderful worship song by Jason Upton. It is one of my favorites. Last time I heard it, actually Sunday morning, I had to stop and think about what it means to wait for Jesus or to wait for God.

Before I go on, I must note that the rest of this has nothing to do with the song.

We can wait upon; we can wait for; we can wait with. What difference does the preposition make? What are the different connotations of each usage? When you say you are waiting for someone, there are a number of possible connotations. What I picture is that the person being waited for is not yet there. Most often the implication is that you are waiting for the person to show up. Waiting upon someone could mean the same as to wait for or it could mean waiting for something to happen or waiting for someone to do something. When you are waiting with someone, it definitely implies that you are not waiting alone.

For me, there is a big difference between waiting for Jesus and waiting with Jesus. You see, I am seated in heaven with Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2:6). My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. God lives within me. God’s presence is always with me. I should never be waiting for God to show up since he is already with me.

We sometimes hear or read about entering God’s presence. If you are a believer, then you live and breathe, you exist, in God’s presence. God’s presence in the believer is not an emotion. It is not a sense or feeling. It is a fact. It is not a sometime thing. It is a permanent condition. Whether you know it or not, does not change the reality.

Doesn’t the Bible tell us to wait for God? Not in the NT, at least not after Acts 1:4. I checked. After the Holy Spirit came, each NT instance of waiting refers to the Second Coming.

Why am I being so picky about a word? Why make a big deal about using for or with? Because I do not always remember that God is with me. I do not always recognize or sense God’s presence even though the Word promises that He is always with me. In fact, it is all too easy for me to be blind to the reality of God’s presence. If so, then if I view myself as waiting for God in a particular circumstance, then I may start thinking of God as being far off, that I am alone.

Now if you are among the less than one percent of Christians that have no trouble always realizing and remembering that God will never leave you nor forsake you, who never ever feel alone, then never mind. The word usage does not matter.

As for me, it is a whole lot easier, a whole lot more comforting, and a whole lot more faith-building, to remember that I am waiting with Jesus than to think of waiting for him to show up.

If you are a young mother, tired, frustrated, and worn out caring for a number of children, might you have a better attitude, might you have more faith, might it be a bit easier to make it through the day, if you constantly realized that Jesus is right there with you? That He is experiencing exactly what you are experiencing? That you are not sticking it out, waiting for God to show up, but that He is right there waiting with you?

It is not only an emotionally good thing, it is the absolute truth of the situation.

Be blessed!
RB

why be taken seriously?

I’m on a mailing list for a newsletter sent out by a family doing m-work in SW China. Their burden is outreach to the Hui people (Chinese Muslims). The latest newsletter noted that they had met a number of Hui who had traveled to England, Europe, and North America for university education. These Muslim friends returning to China say they never had a Christian talk to them about Jesus.

That would be me. Muslims take spiritual matters very seriously, probably are interested in spiritual matters, and therefore are in a sense open to at least discussing our different beliefs. Last June when visiting a Hui village in Yunnan Province, I had a scholar/teacher basically ask me for my testimony. After overcoming my initial shock, I was able to share. He then shared how he came to follow Islam which led to all in our group sharing. I’ve seldom seen or been part of such an open, two-way conversation before.

Therefore, to him who knows to do good, and does not do it, to him it s sin.
~ James 4:17

Why are we so afraid that we will offend? The thing is, they know we’re holding out on them by not sharing. In my case, don’t you think it a bit weird that to get me to share I had to be inside a mosque and be put on the spot by a mosque official?

pics from early september

One of our sons is leaving this month on a government-sponsored, all-expense-paid trip to Iraq. He was able to visit us early last month and we had a bit of a family reunion over Labor Day weekend. That is, all the the kids were home. This was the first time we've all been together since last Thanksgiving and probably will not occur again for more than a year. I finally got around to posting a bunch of pictures here.

Be blessed!
RB

P.S. One person is included in 25 of 29 pictures. Can you guess who that photogenic person might be?

video: the church you know

a funny video on tithing and giving.

at six months

Grandpa gave a test in his Friday classes so he was able to have a long weekend and take a quick trip to visit Rich, Stephanie, and Lois at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. Miss Lois (a.k.a., Warrior Princess Sweet Pea) was six months old on Friday and who, despite being born in Boston and being a lifelong resident of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, is not a communist.

Grandpa tried to be helpful by offering to change her diaper Friday morning. He has had four kids and ought to know how. However, he forgot that Miss Lois was now into solid food. He quickly discovered the content was much larger, much messier, and much, much more odoriferous than expected. Having opened the diaper, he was past the point of no return, and he committed to the task at hand. In fact, it got all over his hand, the changing table, and what have you. Fortunately it was bath time, so what he didn'’t get off her, the bath did.

Late that afternoon Miss Lois and her grandpa went for a long walk and discovered a playground with swings. So Lois went on her first real, outdoor-playground swing ride. Grandpa held her in the swing as high as his shoulders and let her go. She squealed and laughed, thoroughly enjoying it. Since he is 6'’4" this must be some sort of playground-swing altitude record for a six-month old. They can have a lot of fun if mom and dad are not around to object.

Friday evening grandpa was very relaxed, quite content with not a care in the world, even mildly euphoric. For him, hanging out with babies is better than drugs. (I am being quite serious.)

It was a gorgeous day on Saturday. Everyone went to nearby Singing Beach at Manchester-on-the-Sea, where the sand makes a sound (singing?) if you shuffle your feet as you walk.

Pictures of Miss Lois and her guest from last weekend are posted here .

Be blessed!
RB

a random walk

The post on September 17th (nny and the rich and famous) made a reference to stock pickers and market timers. I am certainly not against financial investments in stocks. However, most people have no business trying to pick stocks. Professionals, that is folks that tend to know what they are doing and do it for a living, do not consistently beat the market. Most of the amateur stock-pickers I have run into really do not know that much and tend to be attracted to get-rich-quick schemes. While not necessarily correlated, ignorance combined with greed is not good.

Greed is a very deceptive idol and a get-rich-quick attitude is not godly.

. . . [H]e who gathers money little by little makes it grow.
~ Proverbs 13:11b

The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.
~ Proverbs 21:5

If interested in an explanation of why I think short-term speculation by stock-picking and market timing is a suckers game, please check out a post from last fall (what's a random walk?).

Be blessed!
RB

P.S. I once heard a trans-local church leader claim that Christians with a prophetic bent should be able to get rich by picking stocks. (Glory be to God!) In less than a year he was asked to step down from his leadership position. Not generally known is that he was abusing the organization's credit cards for his personal use -- if you consider taking amounts into the six-figure range as abuse.

being a fool ain’t what it used to be

I have been reading and rereading Proverbs (I am waiting for it to sink in – might take a few more times.) where the word fool occurs quite frequently. What do you think of when you hear the word fool? Most of us think of a simpleton, someone not too smart. Sort of like Laurel and Hardy, the Three Stooges, or Lou Costello of Abbott and Costello. Maybe the twit Bertie Wooster of Jeeves and Wooster fame? The OT uses the term fool sixty plus times. While I have not undertaken an exhaustive study of the multiple Hebrew words translated as fool, I do find the OT use of fool does not seem to fit our modern usage particularly well. What we mean by fool is more akin to simple, a word also found in English translations of Proverbs. A simpleton and a fool seem to be quite different in OT usage of the terms.

OT use of fool often denotes a vile person, devoid of or lacking moral character. Is there a modern term with that connotation?

The best I can think of is a jerk. If I told you the guy dating your sister is a jerk, you probably would assume I was speaking of his lack of character rather than his lack of brainpower. A great OT example is Abigail’s husband Nabal, man referred to in Scripture as a fool (1 Sam 25:25). Nabal was not a simpleton, but he was a first class jerk.

Check out these verses and see if they work:

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but jerks despise wisdom and discipline.
~ Proverbs 1:7

He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a jerk.
~ Proverbs 10:18

A jerk finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a man of understanding delights in wisdom.
~ Proverbs 10:23

The way of a jerk seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.
~ Proverbs 12:15

A wise man fears the LORD and shuns evil, but a jerk is hotheaded and reckless.
~ Proverbs 14:16

A jerk finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.
~ Proverbs 18:2

It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every jerk is quick to quarrel.
~ Proverbs 20:3

Like tying a stone in a sling is the giving of honor to a jerk.
~ Proverbs 26:9

See what I mean?

Proverbs was given to give wisdom to the simple (Pr. 1:4). It is also used by God to point out what a jerk is but it takes the conviction of the HS for a real jerk to get it.

nny and the rich and famous

This weekend’s edition of the Wall Street Journal had a front-page article on Steven Cohen, a young, rich financier. He manages a $10 billion fund from Stamford Connecticut. (Split that up and it would we be about $100,000 for every man, woman, and child in St. Lawrence County.) The article mentions that he has a large house with basketball court, ice rink, and indoor pool.

Big deal. I have a large house – at least more than large enough for our needs. We had a basketball court but I took down the backboard when we painted the carriage house (i.e., that is what realtors call a barn). I still have the backboard and if I wanted, I could put it back up in an afternoon. For several winters, we had an ice rink in the backyard. I still have the lumber for the frame but would need to buy the plastic sheeting. It is not expensive and readily available at Triple-A-Lumber. There is enough plastic in one roll to line three rinks, one for each of three winters. As for an indoor pool, all I need to do is unplug the sump pump and all too soon, we’ll have one in our basement.

Cohen’s home also has paintings by the likes of Van Gogh and Gauguin. This smacks of a conspicuous consumption, which I find unseemly. I do not object to fine art. I appreciate fine art. In fact, I have a mouse pad with a wonderful reproduction of a picture of dogs playing cards. This is despite my computer having an optical mouse and therefore no real need for a pad. However, I feel it important to surround myself, and my family, with art – especially the masterpieces. It matters not if an original or a copy. The exposure to, and the cultured environment engendered by, displayed art is what is ultimately important.

The article went on to explain all Cohen’s troubles trying to stay on top as the “Hedge-Fund King.” While this should be a cautionary tale for those self-styled stock-pickers and market-timers out there, it won’t be. Such folks are too deceived by greed and pride to apply the lesson to themselves. However, it can also be a cause for reflection and gratitude. This guy is not really better off than I am. He doesn’t even get to live in the North Country, and I have a lot more time to enjoy the riches with which I have been blessed.

The blessing of the LORD brings wealth, and he adds no trouble to it.

~ Proverbs 10:22

sharing carnal desires with paris hilton

I have stated that I have never thought Ms. Hilton to be particularly attractive physically and that her public persona leaves me cold. That is what I said. However, she recently made international headlines when busted for DWI in a vain, desperate attempt to fulfill our shared passion. The truth is now out. In fairness to her, it is really not her fault. The poor thing couldn’t help herself. The carnal desire that we both share was too strong, too overpowering.

If you read more than the headline, the newspaper article revealed the object of her desire. Paris was pulled over while going to get a hamburger from In-N-Out.

In-N-Out is a California institution. It was a small chain of small hamburger stands when I was a teenager. They had only a drive-up and a less-used walkup window. No indoor seating. This was California where the only appropriate place to eat an In-N-Out burger was in your car.

They had, and still have, the best hamburger in the land that invented fast food and the drive-up window. While once few and far between, In-N-Out franchises are today ubiquitbous in Southern California. A few now have indoor seating but the vast majority do not. I have the menu memorized. It is pretty basic: French fries, hamburger, cheeseburger, double-double burger (double the cheese and meat) in addition to shakes (excellent, very thick, three flavors only) and soft drinks.

The hamburgers are nothing fancy. Just your basic burger with lettuce, tomato, grilled onions, ketchup, and a Thousand-Island-type sauce. It has not changed in over 40 years. They do not cook the hamburger until ordered, even though the next dozen customers waiting in line are guaranteed to order at least a dozen burgers. Where else you can get 1950’s style burgers at a drive-up window?

They are just plain good.

How good?

1. One day at lunchtime we drove past an In-N-Out without indoor seating. There was a line of people, forty or more deep, standing at the walkup window. This is in an area with numerous fast-food outlets and Californians are loathe to stand in lines. However if the drive-up lines are excessively long at In-N-Out, some Californians will take the extreme measure of actually leaving their cars and using the walk-up window. This happens no where else.

2. When my sister made of list of things to do during our recent trip to Southern Cal, at the top was “lunch at In-N-Out.”

3. My only souvenir of the entire trip was an In-N-Out t-shirt.

Many probably shook their heads at the headlines, wondering what this spoiled, empty-headed, rich girl was thinking when got into her car after having a few drinks. Californians knew she was thinking, “I want a double-double!”