Saturday, August 5, 2006

cats do not eat olives

I have not slept well the past few nights. Last night I was up until 2 a.m. waiting for my son to come home from his first “rock concert” only to have construction workers in a neighbor’s yard wake me at 7 a.m. this morning.

I am more grouchy than usual when sleep deprived. That helps explain why, when I finally gave up trying to sleep and came downstairs, a box of cat food set me off.

Yes, cat food.

There, on a small side counter in the kitchen, was a box of cat food with the name Olives. I looked again…it was a yellow box with a picture of a cat…under the cat in large, fancy script I saw the word Olives.

Have you ever heard of anything so stupid as olive cat food? Is this for Mediterranean types who want their kitties to identify with their ethnic heritage? Are American pet owners so empty headed that they think felines would actually welcome olive favored dinners just for a change of pace? Why not add some basil? While we’re at it, how about a salad on the side? Could it be that maybe pussy is descended from wild, ferocious olive-tree-climbing cats but due to evolutionary adaptation has since lost the ability to spit out the pits?

I was not upset that my wife bought this package of cat food. It was probably on sale, a manager’s special, or she had coupons. In fact, the front of the box prominently displays “Save $1.00.” I don’t blame her. I don’t even blame the manufacturer. However, the more I thought about it the more disgusted I got with how this is just another indication of our very shallow values.

What does this say about American culture? No wonder radical Muslim fundamentalists view our culture as an evil which pollutes human society.

To borrow from the Robin Williams comment about cocaine, olive cat food is God’s way of telling us we have too much money.

Just as I was really getting going, it was then, "Wait a minute." I noticed something else on the counter blocked a portion of the box.


The bottom part or the stem of the nine in 9lives was covered.

Never mind….


Deb said...

You are too funny!

Actually, our cat liked olives--or at least olive juice. Go figure.

RB said...

Thank you. It is odd that cats tend to be so finicky about what they eat but will drink just about anything, no matter how nasty, as long as it isn't the water in their bowls.

Paul said...


Paul said...

BTW, I like your "professional" page.

RB said...


Thank you. You'll see a couple of papers you might recognize if you go to the bottom of my "research and scholarship" page, (

Paul said...

I had already noticed.

Andre said...

Cats don't just like olives -- olives contain chemicals which are similar to the active ingredients in catnip, and which will induce inebriation in cats.